That's right. We all know the scene this line belongs to; a kid having a meltdown in a public. Everyone stares and comments as if it's their duty to do so.

Since the arrival of the terrible two's (actually starting at roughly 10 months & continuing into age 3 thus far) in my little one, this scene has become all too familiar to me. That's right. I'm the woman you see on occasion in the store with the toddler screaming bloody murder. Why? Well let's see....I won't get her a balloon, I won't let her throw things out of the shopping cart, she can't stand up while riding in the cart, just for basically telling her "NO." We all that's a toddler's worst enemy, the word "NO."

Now let me clarify that my little one, is kid #4 for me. My older 3, ages 9 & twin 8 year olds, are very well behaved when we are out and about. They never did things that the latest bundle of trouble does. NEVER. So I'm new to this scene and I'm not likin' it!

Princess Payten's first "official" full blown meltdown happened while I was trying to check out after getting groceries. Oh boy, I was so NOT prepared for this! A meltdown all because she couldn't have candy. You know how they stick all that damn candy and crap toys right there at the registers? Yeah...I curse the Gods above for that!

It starts out as a "Mommy, yook. Tan I hab dis?" I do what all mom's do the first time they're asked something...I ignored the question at hand. I instead try to get her attention on something else...like the funny hat on the lady walking by or the cute little baby behind us. The whole while thinking in my head, "Could this cashier BE any more slower?" I'm asked again. Again, I try to redirect her focus, it worked! Just as I'm swiping my card and thinking I'm in the clear about the candy, she asks again. I tell her no not today, maybe another day.

And she was off. Actually, she went down...in the floor and started crying and kicking her feet. Oh. My. God what do I do?! I was mortified!! My initial reaction is to pick her up and smack her bum. Instead, I pick her up, start pushing the cart, with the older 3 in tow (I wanted to get the hell outta dodge as quickly as possible!) and try to put her in the front of the cart. It was like trying to give a cat a bath! She did NOT want in that cart and she was fighting me on it! In passing, one woman, who could see how frustrated I was getting, offered some kind words: "It's okay Mom. We've all been there." My response: "No, it's NOT okay. They didn't do it and she is NOT going to do this."

Of course, my older 3 are in shock themselves and they don't know whether to snicker or snort. Yes, they found it quite amusing. They seem to get a kick out of PJ's temper tantrums and even egg it on. Imagine that.

What really sucked, was that the register we were at, was in the middle of the store. So we still had 5,6,7,8 more to go before hitting the double doors. That was like the walk of shame. I could feel the stares burning holes into me. The whispers, echoed in my ears. Her cry, seemed amplified. Until finally, I could bear no more.

"WHAT?? Have you never seen a kid cry? What's UP?? Mind your business!"

This of course made my son, who is a self proclaimed know-it-all, inform me that "people are so nosy" and his twin sisters made sure they chimed in with the "Yeahs." All the while they are snickering and snorting it up about Mom telling people to mind their 'bees wax.' In fact this did make everyone go about their business as if there wasn't a toddler meltdown passing by.

I have learned a little since this first 'incident.' We have managed to get away with only one other major, I did say "major," meltdown (Damn you Barbie Mariposa!!). What have I learned you wonder?

#1: Park at Lawn & Garden Center , it's the quickest escape route
#2: Check out at Lawn & Garden Center, there's no blasted candy (or toys) at registers and finally
#3: Don't be afraid to look like an ass, you have kids...it's gonna happen!

Sometime ago I got a wild hair and decided that I needed an exercise ball and some weights. Off to the nearest store I went. I selected the best deal they had: a ball (complete with pump), a DVD, and 2 3 lb. hand weights for 20 bucks. Couldn't beat that I told myself. Along with that, I also picked up 2 8 lb. weights because I didn't think the 3 pounders would cut it. I wanted a serious work out here.

When I got home and got the ball blown up, my kids were in awe at the size of it. "WOW," was all I heard for days. All they heard for days was, "It's not a play toy!"

At first I couldn't find the time to put my exercise ball to good use. I wanted to use it, really I did. I would catch it staring at me as I was surfing MySpace, calling me as I was watching the newest episode of 'Top Chef.' However, it wasn't until I caught an episode of 'Work Out' did a fire get lit under my arse.....for all of about 30 minutes.

My ball is neglected, I admit. Since that fateful night, it has been brought out one other time. I feel horrible about this because my intentions weren't to buy it and then not touch it. I really do plan on working out on it but I'd rather do it alone and it seems I always have a critter of some kind (be it a kid, cat or dog) underneath my feet at any given hour on any given day.

The kids have since found many great uses for my exercise ball. (Yeah I got over the "Don't touch" thing real quick) Let's see...there's the obvious- basketball (of course with no net seeing how this is done indoors), dodge ball (again, indoors), using it as a chair, propping their feet on it while watching a movie or playing a video game, rolling it after the cats and dogs. This, I will say, was funny the very first time it was done. The cats ran for cover as fast as their little paws would carry them! After that, they got in trouble for aggravating the animals.

The best use for the ball (and my favorite so far) has been when my son, McKinnley and one of my twins, Bailee, tried to recreate a scene from the 'Rob & Big' show. Anyone catch that episode?! If not, watch the video provided. If you have, watch it anyways because it's hilarious!



They have perfected this to the best of their ability so that Bailee doesn't get hurt. What can I say? Kids will be kids!

I'm just glad my exercise ball isn't sitting in a corner somewhere collecting dust. The kids are getting my 20 bucks worth!